Rain coming in silver threads making a haze and blur of the trees above the garden. Morning and the pelton wheel isn't working. I sit and stare, having gone through the possible scenarios of fixes and trips to Redding to get dwindling supplies and have settled back into the cabin in the rain mode. Don't think I will be rescued anytime today.
I was up for what seemed like hours last night, half lying in sleep mode with that kind of fuzzy soft attention that welcomes oblivion and the other half tossing around not believing I was still up and thinking about the evenings meal and conversation after meditation. The joy that some people feel when they consider the end of the world scenario is at once familiar and shared and at the same time disturbing. There are a few ex y2kers in town who, being disappointed by the smooth transition into 2000, are now transferring all their hopes for an end to the world as we know it onto global warming, peak oil and terrorism. and are happy about the prospect. "Let the apocalypse begin!" one said, laughing. "I think it's going to be great"
My question of "Don't you think you will be affected?" was not answered. They have their joy in the same way the born again Christians hope for the end of times and thus the rapture. Hallelujah!!! When some radio talk show host had proposed praying for the people of New Orleans, one of these "Christians" angrily said that God was killing these sinners, and so praying for them was going against his wishes.
Last night someone proposed that the earth was alive and had a soul and occasionally threw off it's sick parts like any other organism and would thus rid itself of much of the human population. This was greeted with head nods and smiles. Is the assumption that the sick part the earth is throwing off is not going to be me or my loved ones? Will only the stupid and greedy die? And who gets to decide?
Of course, I would be happy if I thought humans would wake up to the interconnectedness of life, learn to live within their means and figure out that if they have shelter food and family, that that may be enough for happiness. Modern capitalism is a giant pyramid scheme demanding more resources and more consumers as if there are not limits to what the earth or the human psyche can bear. The the death of the delusion of "shopping" as the purpose of human existence would reassure me. But I don't think the future holds "rapture" and perfection anymore than what has already cycled and recycled for centuries--that is enough for me.